Buttito

This one’s a bit embarrassing.  For reasons I shall not explain, I was searching “burrito” on my phone.  But, just like Homer, my fingers were too fat for my tiny phone keyboard.  Hence Buttito.

While I feel this one needs no explanation, here it is anyway: Buttito is obviously a Weird Al cover band with Spanish flair.

Fine, I was searching Taco Bell’s website for the Beefy Nacho Griller because I couldn’t remember the name.  It’s way too much pressure to get up to the ordering window without knowing the name of it already.  Have you seen the menu lately?  So many choices.  I can’t read the menu that quickly. If I don’t know the name ahead of time, I’ll just cave and order the usual.  How boring is a regular old taco with extra cheese?  Delicious?  Yes.  Do I want it every time I make a Run for the Border?  No.  So I risked life and limb to type while at the red light and ended up with Buttito.

 

British Neutral

Jason was watching some ELO concert television show the other day.  I wasn’t really paying attention, they are not my jam.  He made some random comment about how “maybe they aren’t from Baltimore after all.”  What?  “I thought they were from Baltimore, but I think they are from England after watching this.  Maybe I don’t like them after all.”  I paid more attention.  The singer began talking and he definitely had an English accent.  A groan was all I heard next to me.

“What is your problem with English bands?”  was the obvious question I asked.

“You know how I feel about English bands.”

“I didn’t realize your feelings were so strong.”

“You thought I liked bands from England?” He sounded indignant.

I just didn’t realize you hated them so much.  I thought you were just neutral on them.  English neutral.”

English Neutral is an American band that only plays songs from English bands.  Just to spite Jason.  I imagine them butchering Oasis songs on a regular basis.

 

Double Sweater

The weather is starting to change here and I am freezing all the time.  It makes me feel really old to be this cold all the time.  I mean, I grew up in Ohio – not the coldest part of the state, but we had our share.  I thought I was used to it.  I actually live a bit farther south now but as soon as the temps start to drop it’s all over.  Yesterday I wore my first sweater of the season out and about.  On my way home, I was thinking about how I couldn’t wait to get home to put on my cardigan over my sweater.  I would then be wearing double sweaters!  You just can’t make this stuff up.

The Double Sweaters are a bunch of retired rockers.  Not literally rockers, but retired people who like to rock.  They formed their band in the old folks home and play for all their fellow prisoners.. ahem..  residents.  Probably on a Saturday afternoon.  Old people don’t rock after dark.

Vicious and Fluffy

We have some neighbors who really like little dogs.  I really like little dogs.  They seem to go through quite a few of them though.  It feels too awkward to ask why.  “So what happened to all the other dogs?  Are they dead?  Did you hand them off to your copious grandkids?”  That’s just not a conversation I would like to have – ever.

The neighbors currently have two very tiny dogs.  One is white and the other is black.  I think they are both Maltese but without the stupid haircut.  This is how I feel about them.

On the way home from the bus stop recently, those little guys were barking at us through their glass door.  “So vicious” I said in a silly voice.  “So vicious and fluffy” was the reply from Logan.

Vicious and Fluffy is a teenage girl cover band.  They are probably doing rock covers of Taylor Swift songs. If Calvin Harris is ever looking for something with a harder edge, they’ll fit the bill.

On a side note, I actually had to look up how to spell “vicious”.  I kept putting in “viscous”.  I think we can agree that would be an entirely different cover band.

Cause Olive

So we were sitting at the Alamo Drafthouse watching a special presentation of The Regular Show: The Movie when Jason orders a dirty martini with olives.  He likes to do that.

What’s really embarrassing is when the waiter, or even worse the waitress, asks “How Dirty?”  Yes, this happened. I know it’s a legit question, but not in front of the kid, please!  Think of the children! That didn’t happen this time thank goodness.

Drinks arrive, water all around, and coke for me.  Jason looks at his martini, which is stacked with 3 enormous olives and offers me one. Now I’m not much of a drinker AND I do not like olives, so, not cool! The two of them start making jokes about Logan enjoying martini olives and asking me “what is your problem?”

It’s, cause olive’s kids.

Cause Olive is not really a band.  Just a girl and her music.  I don’t think she had a career with Fringe Division, but she sure can play the guitar and write her own songs.  Someone like Lisa Loeb.  Remember her? Of course her name has to be Olive.  Names are easy to change these days, right?

Sopper Gub

We say things silly in this family.  Change the vowels occasionally.  Drop a consonant here or there.  I used to have to warn the kiddo not to do that at school.  Didn’t want him to draw any ridicule.  Here, I think one of us was messing around with “super good”.  Naturally.

Sopper Gub is a cover band that only sings in German.  I hope that doesn’t mean anything bad in German.  Perhaps I should look it up.

Oretree

I think I need to get my hearing checked.  Logan kept trying to say “Ortreat”,  it’s a dragon or something from DragonVale.  Not a game I’ve played.  He’s always excited about birthing dragon babies.  Between this and making babies in Pokemon I’m starting to worry about him.  Each game has you making babies – isn’t it too early for a 13-year-old to make babies? I made Logan repeat the name over and over.  Finally, I made him spell it.  Thank goodness his spelling has improved!  I still can’t hear him say that final “t” in the word though.  Enunciate already!  You aren’t Ariana Grande…

Oretree must be a cover band for Classic Rock.  Freebird baby!

Day of Disappointment

I was asked recently by a funny young man what I was going to do with this blog for April Fools Day.  I replied, “I’ll announce that one of my band names is actually being used.  And then I’ll be all like “Psych!”” “No,” I was told, “You  have to wait for the psych until April 2nd, the day of disappointment.”  How is April 2nd not already on the calendar as such?  It has such a nice ring to it.

Day of Disappointment is probably a heavy metal band, head banging and all.  I have a secret fantasy that it is actually a Renaissance Faire band though playing rearranged rock songs.  Lots of lutes = lots of fun!

The Penguin Hugs

We used to love watching Pingu when the kiddo was young.  He recently rediscovered it via images on some tabletop game on Steam.  I dunno, it sounded really complicated.  Anyway, we were talking about him at bedtime and I go in for a hug.  What I got was some weird stiff arm flapping.  “What is this?  Some kind of penguin hug?” I asked.  And there you have it.

The Penguin Hugs would be a cover band for kids.  Maybe a Kidz Bop type thing where they cover current hits.  Or better yet doing original songs for kids a la Dinorock.

The Pocket Fundamentals

We were watching the Monday Night Football game this week when I heard this one.  I have no idea what the guy was referencing.  I mean, I know the basic rules of Football, I just don’t care too much about all the deets.  Anyway, he started talking about pocket fundamentals.  He’s a genius.

The Pocket Fundamentals should be formed by nerdy college kids.  Are pocket protectors too nerdy for these guys?  I think not.  They’d be just cool enough to play your next house party.